As seen in APeeling in January
Communication Between Opposites
They say opposites attract. The problems start when opposites start communicating with each other believing they are the same. Some opposites figure it out and live long happy lives supporting each other. Others, they fall victim to conflict and misunderstanding. How can opposites live happily ever after or work together in sync? By understanding each other.
The Blind Spot Assessment identifies different personalities, their strengths and their potential blind spots. With this information, those who take the assessment can better understand themselves, how others see them, and how they misunderstand the intent of others. It can help them know whom to go to for what and how to interact best with their complete opposite.
Two very different personalities who are complete opposite, can find themselves in a toxic existence with each other or as a team supporting each other. The choice is theirs. In this article I outline the differences between the Competitor type and the Peacemaker type.
If you are a Competitor type, you are a force to be reckoned with and you move forward determined to win.
Your top five strengths are:
Your top potential blind spots:
You can come across as intimidating even when you don’t think you are
You might not treat others as valued members of your team, even when you think they are
Your candor may cause you to speak your mind without regard for the feelings of others
You might come across as impatient and intolerant to those explaining details to you
You tend to cut people off or talk over them instead of listening first
How are behaviours are interpreted by others is a blind spot for everyone. Competitors don’t intend to be seen as intolerant, insensitive, or intimidating, but due to their natural drive to win and strong personalities, others who are not like them interpret their behaviours differently.
Let’s check out the personality opposite for the competitor type on the blind spot wheel to better understand how you can communicate better with them.
Your opposite is the Peacemaker.
The Peacemaker is a calm, steady leader who enjoys being on a team that is connected at the personal level. They are inclusive and enjoy helping others succeed by creating a stable and secure environment.
They don’t like change, however when they need to make changes they are very sensitive to how those changes will be perceived by others.
Does the Peacemaker sound anything like you? I didn’t think so. Do you know someone on your team or in your network of friends and family who sounds like they might be a Peacemaker type?
Top 5 strengths of a Peacemaker:
Top blind spots of a Peacemaker:
They tend to silently bottle up emotions, which others interpret as indifference or insensitive
They avoid conflict and sacrifice their own wants, needs, and desires
Their need for harmony can make them seem wishy washy and unsuitable for leadership
They miss opportunities which require extra risk
Competitors and Peacemakers are like the rabbit and the turtle when it comes to getting stuff done. The Competitor is halfway done before the Peacemaker has even gotten off the starting line because they are making sure the whole team has a chance to participate.
The Competitor can easily get frustrated with the Peacemaker and become vocal about what they think of the situation with rapid firing, like a machine gun, of complaints. The speed the Competitor is going causes the Peacemaker to feel insecure, which leads them to withdraw and become silent.
The Competitor will feel better because they’ve voiced their grievances, however the Peacemaker took in all the Competitors emotional outburst and is holding on to the negativity shot at them, along with their own feelings.
The Peacemaker will go along to get along, however they probably forgot to communicate what they wanted because they feel the Competitor doesn’t care, so why say anything. Soon, the Peacemaker becomes resentful of the Competitor who doesn’t know what the Peacemaker wants because the Peacemaker never said anything.
Sounds very frustrating.
How can you, a competitor, communicate better with your complete opposite, the Peacemaker?
Slow down and be calmer when talking with the Peacemaker. Try talking to them one on one and leave lots of silence for the Peacemaker to voice their opinions and needs. Try not to voice your first thoughts, which could feel like you’re jumping down their throats.
They need you to stop talking so they can feel they can start. Make a game of it, how long can you listen for? Can you break your last record of holding space for the Peacemaker to get around to saying something?
If you need to vent about a situation you find extremely frustrating, find someone other than the Peacemaker to fire off complaints to. Look for the Energizers and Motivators to help you when you need to release the pressure from all the details the Analyzer is droning on and on about.
Likky Lavji is the Blind Spot Navigator helping leaders and teams communicate with each other to be more productive. Take the free blind spot assessment on his website.