Shannon Peel

Feb 1, 202210 min

How to Make Rational not Emotional Decisions

Updated: Apr 16, 2023

Click here to read in the APeeling Decisions Digital magazine

When we make certain decisions, we feel emotional, and those emotions can get in the way of making a good decision. Unless a bear is wanting to eat you, the decision can wait until you are in a more rational frame of mind. Now, if the bear looks hungry - RUN... or Google what you are supposed to do when facing down a hungry bear.

Get Your Emotions Under Control

Easier said than done, trust me I know I've got a PhD in triggering emotional responses in both myself and others.

I booked some traditional media news coverage for a client and the journalist removed some Words from the title and went with … The First Store… instead of The first Locally Owned Store. The result? Their competitor got on social media losing his mind AND stormed into my client’s store to scream at employees. The journalist contacted me to clarif the story and didn’t change the title, they updated the story with a clarification at the bottom of the story.

If this had happened in a small town, the story of his decision to freak out wouldn’t have much reach. But it happened in a small town and he wasn’t a local. Great reach for my client - a negative story for their competitor.
 

Had he said nothing and realized the people in the town are smart enough to know his store exists, the story wouldn’t have had nearly as much reach.
 

How can we get our emotions under control so we can be more rational in our decision making?

When I get upset, going for a walk won't help. It only make me more agitated as I will feel like I need to be doing something to fix the issue. For me, I need to write it out so I can switch out of my emotional brain into my rational one. This is key. Figure out which activity will move you into a more rational and logical mindset.

Other Ways to Get Emotions Under Control

Venting is a great way to get rid of all that emotional negativity and put it on to someone else who is listening to you empty out all the pain, anger, and frustration. Remember to let the person know you are good and they need not worry about you because you just needed to vent.

Go for a run, the gym, or a boxing ring. For those of you who are physical and enjoy a good sweat, moving is the perfect way to burn off that emotional energy and sweat out the toxins. By the time you've showered and towelled off, you'll be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about the situation.

Cook, paint, grab an instrument. Use your creativity to work through the emotional mess inside you. It will get your mind off the situation and you can create something out of the negativity you are feeling, which may tell you what is bothering you.

Watch a comedy, read funny book, turn up the happy tunes on Spotify. Get your mind off the situation by doing something that will make you laugh and smile.

For some people, turning off the emotions is easy. My daughter is blessed with a strong logical mind, which helps her rationalise when things don't go her way. She gets it from my dad. Both of them shrug off disappointment and life's frustrations. I'm not saying they are robots who don't feel anything. I'm saying they are skilled at understanding situations for what they are and not sweating the small stuff.

For other people, turning off emotions is hard if not impossible. For those of us who feel on a deeper level and are affected by the emotions of others, situations can be traumatic and consume us as we try to process them. The emotional storms that rage within us can blind us from the truth of the situation or the actual intent of other people. For us, we need the time to decompress, to move through the pain, and find a way into our rational brains before we make a decision. The good news is that once the storm has passed, we can make a rational decision for a better outcome -- We just need to breathe first.

What others are saying about how to make a Good Decision

Use real data to help you identify what is really going on. Take a lesson from Elyse Flynn who uses data to make decisions in her marketing agency to ensure the right decisions are being made for her clients instead of using perception of what is happening to make a decision.

AlKarim Chatur of NRJI Consulting

-Meditate regularly - That allows you to take a step back and tap into your wisdom

-Learn from the past but don't let it become a predictor of the future

- Look at the worst-case scenario and if you can live with the outcome don't let the fear hold you back

- Think of how it impacts others before it impacts you. If it provides a positive solution for other without compromising your values or situation - it is a good decision

Elyse Flynn Meyer of Prism Global Marketing Solutions

In my field of marketing, business analytics and real-time data help marketers and business leaders make decisions based on real-time campaign performance. Being able to quickly see what campaigns are driving brand awareness, qualified leads for sales, and customer conversion helps marketers optimise campaigns to improve metrics and drive measurable business results.

This helps to reduce marketing spending by focusing on the right channels and tactics that are driving optimal performance while improving overall ROI and revenue impact. Without big data and business analytics, marketing would be working in a silo instead of seeing how their campaigns are impacting the bottom line.

Cindy Cheta of INKredible Business Solutions weighs out the Pros and Cons, tally them up and then does the gut test when making decisions. This way she is able to see the reasons for each option instead of relying on her emotions. When we write out a pros and cons list it forces us to assess each option and decide on the best option based on data.

Bobby Garris of Garris Real Estate powered by eXp Realty, LLC. says, "Just open your wings and fly. Every big decision is someone biggest achievements in life and the ones that don’t make decisions sit on the couch wishing they had. If it doesn’t work out oh well then do it all over again. Pursue your happiness" If you don't make a decision, that is still a decision. It is a decision of indecision resulting in not moving forward and sinking deeper into status quo until you are unable to see which way to go. Trying helps us to understand what we really want and then make more decisions to correct course until we are truly moving forward.

Stephen Pasiciel of Gryphon Leadership adds, "Decisions are usually not as big as we make them out to be. Don't let too much time pass before making the decision - the more time passes, the more the environment changes which could render the context for the decision irrelevant." Those who can make timely decisions will only need to make small decisions to correct their course instead of finding themselves in a position where they must make a big change decision. The more decisions you make, the better you get at them. Listen to a podcast episode where Stephen and I talk about deciding on what he wants to be known for.

Wendy S. Huffman of the not for profit organisation, Let’s’s Make The Difference evaluates her decisions based on how it is aligned with and the impact on her core commitments as compared to all the “reasons” for doing it or not doing it. Staying true to one's core values ensures your brand story will remain clear and on point.

Jay Holman checks in with his inner guidance. Some say its intuition. He finds it much better than listening to the loud loud volume of his inner critic community or if his itty bitty s***** committee..lol. Who doesn't have one of those? He does his Tony Robbins primer exercise and is a big fan of Abraham Hicks to strip away fear and conditioning and Prime myself for my true nature. Sometimes he writes a t-chart of pros and cons. The final decision always has to be congruent with his core values which are integrity, authenticity and cause impact.

Janice Williams a Realtor with Sotheby's in Toronto, On Canada

Don't based any decision on emotion, guilt or obligation. Take as much time as you need to think a big decision through. Once you make a decision, commit and follow through, no matter what. Doing this will prevent you from feeling resentment or regretful. And don't let anyone force your hand. Don't be afraid to walk away and stand your ground.

How to make a Rational Decision

To make a rational, objective decision you need to put on your analytic hat and dive into the variables of each option. Say you are trying to choose which home to buy, the variables are those things that you will evaluate each home on, like location, size, price, or yard.

When buying a home, it is easy to make an emotional decision instead of a rational one when you walk in and see how nice it looks. If you have a decision making process in place, you will be able to assess each house based on specific criteria to make a rational decision in the end.

Being aware of how you feel when you are in a house is an important piece of the decision making process, however, you can quantify the emotion and make a note of it for when you sit down and reassess your choices to choose the right home.

Here are some ideas to help you make a more rational decision.


 

Comparing Your Options

List all the variables you want to compare — price, location, and other amenities—then put them in order of importance to you, with the most important at the top of the list and the least at the bottom. From here you can compare the variables of each option to help you decide.

Creating a points system

Take the same list and turn it into a scorecard for each option. Give each variable a multiplier to weigh each variable according to preference and each option. Variable 1 x 10 Variable 2 x 7 Variable 3 x 5 etc. Then score each home’s variable between 1-10. In the end you can do the math to determine which is the best option.


 

Identifying Pros and Cons

Evaluate each option by writing a list of pros and cons to review and compare after each list is created. As you go over the list take note of how you feel about each pro and each con to help you quantify the options.


 

Thinking about the consequences

Imagine each possible outcome of each option to gain perspective on the decision. Notice how you feel as you imagine yourself making that choice and what your life will look like after you choose. Write down the emotions you experience and if possible, rate them. When it comes time to make the final decision you will have a record of how you felt as you imagined yourself in each situation. This is a good exercise when you take breaks between each dream to cleans the emotional pallet.


 

Remove Variables

Pair down the number of variables and focus on those things that really matter to you. Does having an attached garage matter? What about a view? Knowing your top 5 variables will help you to narrow down the choices and remove those homes where you liked the carpet or extra bedroom but they didn't have any of your top 5 variables.


 

Remove a choice

When deciding between two options, flip a coin. If the result leaves you with a negative feeling, you’ll know which option you really want. Gut reactions work best when we take away the option we truly want to choose.

You will still need to feel emotions when you make a rational decision and they will be a good gauge as to which decision is the better one. However, in the process you can rationally assess your emotions and better understand why you feel a certain way. Then you can come at the problem from a different angle to see the full picture.

In the end, how you feel about choosing the option is what counts, so be honest with yourself. Rationally, the home at the top of the list, may not be the one you get excited about. If that is the case, you need to re-evaluate the importance of the variables. For example, you may think location is the most important thing and the age of the home is the least, but you feel more excited about that brand new house further away from your ideal location. If this is the case, reassesses the order of the variables and see what choice comes out on top. When you rationally assess your choices, you can then verify why you are making the choice and feel good about it.


Shannon Peel is helps professionals and businesses define their brand stories and tell them to the marketplace by creating and publishing interactive digital magazines.

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